What Is Couples Therapy?

According to recent reports, over 40% of first marriages in the US end in divorce. The likelihood of couples divorcing also significantly increases for second marriages (60%) and third marriages (73%).

There are several reasons for this unhappy statistic. Besides infidelity, domestic violence, substance abuse, and financial issues (to name a few), a feeling of lacking in commitment has been described as the most common reason marriages end in separation.

Conflict in marriage affects both the couple and their children. For the parents, it leads to profound emotional, psychological, and financial struggles; for the children, it can cause long-term mental health problems and behavioral issues, among others.

Couples experiencing difficulties in their relationship can seek out couples counseling. With the help of a licensed couples therapist, you and your partner can use a range of techniques to address unresolved feelings, miscommunication, and other sources of anxiety in your marriage.

Below, we’ll walk you through everything you should know about couples therapy: why it matters, how it works, and when to seek out professional help in your marriage.

Couples therapy (also called marital therapy) is counseling for those in a relationship. It’s a type of psychotherapy in which two people in a committed romantic partnership receive professional support to address dysfunctional patterns and achieve shared goals.

Like other forms of talk therapy, sessions with your family therapist usually involve expressing your feelings, discussing present and past relationship issues with your partner, and learning helpful mechanisms to resolve conflicts.

Marriage counseling is incredibly beneficial to preserving and improving crucial aspects of the relationship, including intimacy and communication. It can be a valuable intervention at any stage of your relationship, whether you’re dealing with recurring conflicts, feelings of disconnection, sex-related problems, or many more stressors.

Ultimately, the goal is to nurture a healthy relationship by increasing understanding, rekindling affection, establishing mutual respect, and fostering genuine intimacy between the couple.

Benefits of Couples Therapy

The benefits of marriage counseling typically depend on the couple. The more you and your partner desire to improve and invest in your relationship, the more favorable the outcome becomes.

Here are some benefits of couples therapy sessions:

Establish a Safe Space: Effective relationship counseling can help create a safe space for you and your partner. This way, you can be vulnerable, open, and honest, which is the first step to navigating and resolving conflicts.
Better Understand Your Relationship: Many people struggle with their marriage because they don’t understand their relationship dynamics. Marital and premarital counseling will help you recognize power balance and other vital patterns.
See Your Partner’s Perspectives: Conflicts generally arise because you can only see your relationship through your own lens. Having a third, professional lens through your marriage counselors can help you step into your partner’s shoes and gain better empathy for each other.
Resolve Relationship Roadblocks: Couples often struggle with figuring out a particular topic, be it having babies, buying a house, or getting married. Therapy sessions with a licensed therapist can help trace the root cause of the issue and resolve the roadblock.
Restore Trust and Intimacy: Committed people on a “rough patch” may find it challenging to maintain trust and intimacy. Talk therapy can be a superb start to rebuilding trust and reviving lost intimacy in your relationship.
Improve Communication Between Partners: Miscommunication is a primary source of friction for many relationships. Your therapist can coach you and your partner to practice helpful communication exercises and deepen your relationship.
Learn Effective Coping Skills: Learning the right coping and problem-solving skills can make all the difference when navigating life’s challenges. These valuable techniques can help you process stress, anxiety, anger, sadness, and other emotions that may hinder reconciliation.

Methods and Approaches in Couples Therapy

Counseling services are a powerful tool to strengthen your marriage. A licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) can employ numerous models and techniques depending on your unique case, which can include one or two of the following:

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Attachment and bonding are usually affected when couples hit a rough patch. EFT addresses this feeling of disconnection by identifying destructive patterns obstructing your and your partner’s attachment.

The LMFT will usually have the couple sit and share specific issues and problematic events in their relationship. From there, the therapist will help the couple discover and make sense of the emotions underlying the situation.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a tried and tested form of individual therapy to alleviate anxiety, depression, and other underlying mental health concerns. It does this by pinpointing unhealthy thought patterns that may contribute to negative behaviors.

This can be a fantastic tool to learn about your and your partner’s thoughts about your situation. With expert guidance, you can challenge each other’s beliefs and collaborate to establish better ways to communicate.

The Gottman Method

Invented by John and Julia Gottman, the Gottman Method Couples Therapy is founded on decades of marital research. In this approach, the couple will learn techniques to nurture a lasting relationship and avoid destructive behaviors.

According to the Gottman method, couples are more likely to succeed when they share relationship histories, explore shared values and disagreements, and learn the necessary coping skills together.

Ellen Watchtel’s Positive Approach

Conflict often turns partners against each other by hyperfixating on the problematic event. Ellen Watchtel’s positive approach is a strength-based method that could help prevent this common scenario.

Instead of playing the blaming game, your therapist may encourage you to focus on self-reflection and the positive aspects of your relationship. By rewarding good behaviors, you’re reinforcing positive changes and promoting stability.

Discernment Counseling

Established in 2008, discernment counseling is an intervention designed for conflicted couples where only one wants to save the relationship. While it’s not about rekindling romance, this approach can help clarify their feelings toward the ambivalence they’re experiencing.

Discernment counseling will let you discover your options and feel more confident in your decisions about the future of your marriage. You may then proceed with other forms of therapy should you decide to stay together.

Narrative Therapy

As its name suggests, narrative therapy is a marriage counseling method that revolves around your and your partner’s stories. This method is based on the philosophy that the stories we tell ourselves inform our decisions and how we treat ourselves and others.

It works by having each person describe the relationship in their own words in narrative form. Your therapist will then pinpoint and correct self-defeating narratives and erroneous beliefs that contribute to the decline of your bond.

Finally, you’ll be guided to develop healthier and compassionate versions of your story, hopefully honoring and addressing each of your needs.

The Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT)

IRT, developed in the 1980s, was among the first couples therapy approaches devised by psychotherapists Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.

The Imago premise states that conflicts, misunderstandings, insecurities, and other issues married people face are the products of unmet childhood needs.

To solve these pain points, the couples will explore each other’s childhood stories to get a rough picture of the experiences that shaped their perspectives. IRT consists of three steps: mirroring, validating concerns, and expressing sympathy.

Psychobiological Approach For Couple’s Therapy (PACT)

PACT is a straightforward attempt to resolve relationship distress. It combines developmental neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotional regulation.

Unlike other traditional forms of counseling, PACT cuts straight to the issue by highlighting what happens in your mind and body during spouts of conflict.

In a PACT session, the therapist will teach you to understand why you feel the way you do. You’ll also learn to identify triggers and body language to understand your partner better and respond accordingly.

When to Seek Out Marriage Counseling?

How do you know if you and your partner need relationship counseling? If you’re unsure, several signs may indicate your relationship needs professional help, including:

Intense and frequent arguments
Poor communication patterns
Emotional withdrawal
Growing trust concerns
Infidelity
Ongoing desire to end the relationship
Recurring marital issues
Constant clashes about money
Facing parenting challenges
Loss of physical and sexual intimacy

Of course, couples therapy isn’t strictly designed for married people experiencing relationship problems. People who want to maintain their bond, strengthen their connection, or work toward shared goals may also find working with a professional worthwhile.

Final Thoughts: Is Couples Therapy Right For You?

No relationship is perfect. After years of being together, it’s pretty standard to hit more than a few rough patches that may take more than flowers to resolve.

Don’t let minor problems snowball into massive problems. If you and your partner are experiencing similar issues, Garden State Detox offers a range of expertly guided therapies and resources to help you overcome these difficult times.

Reach out to us and rediscover your passion today!

References

Published on: 2025-04-22
Updated on: 2025-04-22

What Is Couples Therapy? What to Expect in Your First Session